Damaged
by SpecialHell
Summary: Nick/Warrick slash, a little angsty, but not too much.


_A/N. I wrote this fic a while ago, when Warrick was still alive. I can't remember if it was before or after Nick getting buried alive. Hope you like it._

Nick sighed heavily as he closed his locker, resting his head against the cool metal and closing his eyes. He didn't move when he heard someone else enter the locker room. He just wanted to be left alone. However, when Nick heard someone sit on the bench next to him, when he heard that all too familiar sigh, he knew there was no chance of that happening. Sighing softly, he straightened himself up and looked at the man in the room with him.

"Warrick," He said quietly. "Hey." Warrick smiled softly, not speaking for the longest moment Nick thought he'd ever experienced. Eventually, he tilted his head, green eyes boring through Nick.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked quietly, his gaze not wavering for a second when Nick's eyes raised to meet his. Eventually, Nick nodded, realising the futility of holding it in. Warrick was always there when Nick needed him, and today he needed him more than ever before.

"Yeah," He whispered, his voice becoming clouded with hidden anguish. Warrick nodded, standing up slowly.

"I'll grab my car and follow you home, ok?" Nick nodded silently. Warrick smiled softly before turning and leaving.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Warrick walked into Nick's living room to find the Texan sitting down, his head in his hands. Warrick walked over silently and sat next to Nick. Placing a gentle hand on the other man's shoulder, Warrick watched him silently, giving him time to open up. Warrick could tell there was something seriously wrong this time. This latest case had a serious effect on the usually optimistic Nick. Eventually, Nick looked up, his eyes brimming with tears. Warrick smiled softly at him, reassuring his friend wordlessly. Slowly, Nick broke down, his tears flowing freely. He leant on Warrick's shoulder, letting himself fall into his anguish, not giving any sign of resistance as Warrick pulled him closer, subtly placing a gentle kiss in his hair. Once Nick was cried out, he pulled away to look at Warrick, who was still smiling caringly at him.

Nick looked at Warrick, his eyes begging the other man to make it all better.

"What if this is it?" He asked, desperation in his voice. "What if our only real purpose is to die? What if nothing we do matters?"

"Then we'll do it anyway." Warrick replied firmly.

"Do you really think it's worth it?" He whispered hoarsely. "All this pain we're surrounded by every day. Everything we deal with. Are we really making enough of a difference to account for everything we're losing?"

"We make a difference," Warrick answered, his voice soft. "That's enough for me." Nick shook his head.

"This job is changing me," Nick said, looking to the floor. "And I don't know if it's worth it anymore." Warrick rubbed between Nick's shoulder blades gently, his eyes not moving from Nick's face.

"Just tell me about it," He whispered. "Maybe talking will help. It'll all feel better in the morning." Nick looked up at these words.

"I don't think it can," Nick said, his voice sounding resigned and hoarse. "I'm not the same anymore. I wish I could feel the same as when…" Nick's eyes connected with Warrick's and the sorrow Warrick saw there was almost more than he could take.

"I just wish I could feel," Nick concluded, his voice barely a whisper.

Warrick sighed softly, gently rubbing the back of Nick's neck. He was at a loss for words. Tilting his head, Warrick tried to angle himself so he could look fully at Nick, but the Texan seemed to be shying away. Eventually, Warrick sighed and hooked a finger under Nick's chin.

"Nicky, look at me," He whispered. Nick looked up reluctantly, tears still in his eyes. Warrick looked deep into Nick's eyes, shocked at the amount of pain he saw in them. He never knew Nick had been carrying that much hurt around with him, and the Vegas native couldn't think of anything to make it better. Slowly, Warrick leaned in, giving himself up to the only feeling he had left. Nick seemed to tense up as Warrick's lips touched his, but he soon began to relax, kissing back intently. It took Warrick a moment to realise how tightly Nick was holding on to him. The Texan was clinging to him, pulling him in, the desperate need to hold on to reality apparent. Warrick couldn't help but match his intensity, wanting Nick to know through that one kiss that he would always be there. Breaking the kiss, Warrick pulled Nick in close to him, holding him tightly. Before he realised what he was doing or could stop it, he leaned down and whispered into Nick's ear.

"I love you."

Nick pulled away quickly, shaking his head as soon as Warrick uttered those words. Warrick looked at Nick worriedly, afraid that he had scared the Texan away at just the time he couldn't leave him alone. Eventually, Nick looked up slowly, tears slowly forming back in his eyes.

"Why?" He whispered, disbelief in his eyes. Warrick couldn't help but smile as he leaned in and brushed a thumb across Nick's cheek.

"Why do you even need to ask?" He whispered. "Just look at you. You're perfect." Nick shook his head lightly again, closing his eyes.

"No," He whispered, a light bitterness tainting his voice. "No, 'Rick, I'm anything but perfect." Warrick wiped away the few tears that had begun to fall down Nick's face before leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on Nick's lips.

"Well then," He whispered. "Maybe you're just perfect for me." Nick looked at Warrick, uncertainty in his eyes. Eventually he sighed, leaning in to kiss Warrick, the same silent desperation still apparent within it. Pulling away, Nick stood up, taking Warrick's hand and pulling him to his feet. Warrick sighed lightly when he realised Nick's intentions, but smiled softly and reassuringly as Nick led him up the stairs. He knew that, for tonight at least, he couldn't refuse Nick the one thing he needed to make him feel human.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Warrick kissed Nick on the top of the head, pulling him closer and intertwining their legs. Nick was much calmer now, but he hadn't said anything for a while, which worried Warrick a little. All he could think to do was to hold Nick tight and make him feel safe. Eventually, Nick opened his mouth to speak, playing with Warrick's hands lightly.

"I can't love you," He whispered. Warrick turned slightly to look at Nick, who was looking up at him worriedly.

"I can't say when, or if, I'll ever be able to. I'm damaged, Warrick, and I don't know if you can fix me."

"I can try," Warrick smiled softly. "I love you, Nicky, and nothing is going to change that. I'm not going anywhere." Nick couldn't help but smile lightly, the first genuine smile in almost a week. Smiling back, Warrick leaned down and kissed Nick softly. He knew it would take a while to get the old Nick back, but until then, he was happy to take care of him. To keep him safe and make sure he knew he was loved.

THE END

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